Aren’t sure exactly what to talk about (or not talk about) when you meet someone new or have a first date? Four important things to remember are :
- Keep it light and fun, not scripted.
- Don’t make him feel as if it is an interrogation.
- Don’t do all the talking.
- Listen.
Because you have just met, you want to ask questions that will show you what his thoughts and values are and how he feels about the future. Of course you will start with basic get-to-know-you small talk, nothing serious, just fun and playful.
Now let’s start with a few examples of some good ice breaking questions that will help you get to know this prospective love interest:
- Favorite movie/type of movies?
- Favorite actor?
- Favorite type music/band?
- Favorite day of the week? Why?
- Favorite vacation?
- Favorite TV show?
- Dream job?
- Favorite city he has visited?
- A place he hopes to one day visit?
- Biggest pet peeve?
- What is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?
Now, like I said don’t bombard him with all the questions on the first date. Pick a couple and blend them into the general conversation.
There are some topics that are not really appropriate for the first few dates, if you want to build trust and keep it light. Remember you are trying to establish a connection, a friendship. You don’t want to spark a debate or scare him off. Here are a few topics to avoid, if at all possible, until you know each other better (several dates into the relationship).
- Ex’s. Don’t discuss your ex’s and don’t ask about his.
- Politics.
- Religion.
- Career. Wait and let him bring this up.
- Family. Don’t ask if he wants kids or has kids or about his family dynamics. Again, let him bring this up.
Not only could the above topics anger or upset him when discussed, you want to establish a good rapport with him if you are interested. It would be easy to get the wrong perception of you if these questions are asked right off the bat. Also, don’t volunteer information about your thoughts and views on the above topics either, you could easily sound like you are needy or bragging.
You just want to keep it fun and interesting and find out what he values and wants in his future.
Sheri XOXO
