“You complete me.”–Jerry Maguire, movie

Although Jerry said it.  We women are also guilty of this.  Why, Why, Why do we keep looking for men to “complete” us?

We aren’t 60% of a person in search of our other 40%. Do you want a man who is only 40, 50 or 60%?  Hell to the no.  Please say no!  YOU DESERVE A MAN AT HIS 100% POTENTIAL. Let me try to explain further.

We are whole when we are born. We somehow grow into adults that believe that our happiness depends on other people or material things.  We have to get out of that mindset and begin looking for a man to COMPLIMENT us, enhance our already unique, confident, amazing selves.

This man should compliment your life, as a person, and bring out the best in you.  This can only happen if you are happy with your self as an individual.  Your life is on track and his is too.  Does that mean your life is perfect? Of course not.  But you have a sense of security and satisfaction for the most part.  What would enhance your life is someone to share it with.  The two of you together is what will create an extraordinary couple!

You should be searching for what you want, need and deserve and for a complete man who has his s*#@ together.  Let’s face it, some of us already have children, so we don’t need another needy individual to have to take care of!

For a solid foundation for a deeply connected intimate relationship, you should have two individuals who both want to AND are ready to share their lives with another person.  They desire companionship and someone to experience life with.

He is individually complete, secure with his life.  He has a career, social life, hobbies, friends, etc.  He isn’t looking for a woman to provide security or friends or income.  Same for us women.  We take care of ourselves.  We have a career, friends, family, hobbies.

Seeking someone for financial security or who looks like our favorite movie star or owns a lot of assets isn’t going to create a good foundation and likely won’t result in a happy, healthy, long term relationship.

You can’t have any preconceived conditions for loving someone. Does that mean you don’t have standards?  Of course it doesn’t.  You must have standards.  You just simply can’t seek out a companion with with preconceived expectations that you solely choose and expect a loving, committed relationship to be the result for both parties.

If you work on taking care of yourself and being happy with what you have and learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes as well as realizing your unique, amazing qualities and focus on your own self worth, you will attract a man with those same attributes.

We are often so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up and let the “nagging negative” voice in our heads tell us lies.  We doubt and second guess ourselves.  We blame ourselves for failed relationships when really it was not meant to be.  Every guy we date is not meant to be the “one.”

When relationships don’t work out we often tell ourselves “we will never find love,” “we don’t deserve a good man,”  “there are no good men out there,”  “all the good men are taken,”  “why would anyone love me?”  These are all lies.  There are a lot of good men out there and right now….one is looking for a woman just like you.

Love is not difficult if you are with the RIGHT person for you.  Is it work and effort?  YES.  But if you are constantly looking for another person to complete you and make you happy, you will be disappointed when it isn’t a healthy, meaningful relationship.  You will attract those men who aren’t not complete and are looking for you to make up for what they lack or who aren’t ready for a committed relationship.  You will get in the dreaded cycle of wash, rinse and repeat.

Work on you.  Stop looking to other people for your happiness.  Work towards your own happiness, no matter how far fetched it seems or what your desire is.  The only person in this life you can control and change is YOU.  Love yourself completely and you will find a love and relationship that completely compliments you.

Love XOXO

Sheri