So often men and women settle for being in just any relationship good or bad rather than believing in their own self worth enough to grasp that they can be happier alone or that they deserve nothing less than an extraordinary relationship.

When you are with someone who does not value you, you are giving permission for misery, sadness, control and often emotional or physical abuse.  We truly do teach people how to treat us.

We pattern and view relationships through the examples we see as young children.  If you came from a non-affectionate home where hugs and kisses and “I love you’s” were rarely if ever given, it becomes a secondary thought, “that’s how life and marriage is.”

If you saw fussing, fighting, arguing, cursing, physical abuse and degradation everyday, you may begin to believe that this is the way marriage is for everyone.

We are conditioned this way because we learn from experience.  This is not to say you are doomed in your life if you are from a broken or abusive, negative home.

However, you have to believe you can, and will, break the cycle and learn and educate yourself on love and relationships and marriage.

You must find ways to improve yourself and your relationships and learn from those of us who have been there too.  Put as much effort into making love last and how you can attract the type mate you want, need and deserve as you do when you are about to buy a house or car or other major purchase.

ONE AND ONLY LOVE FOREVER.  Yes, there are some couples who are together forever.  My grandparents, for instance, were together from the time they were 11 and 12 years old until my grandmother passed away.  Over 56 years  of love, lots of hard work and trials, illnesses, moves, job changes, good times and bad and 3 children and death of a child.  It can and does happen and it is beautiful but for the rest of us…..

We have loved and lost.

We have loved and not been loved back with the same intensity and we have had those that loved us that we didn’t reciprocate the love.  We have hurt and thought we would never love again. This is life and love for the vast majority of people.

I am here to tell you…there is hope!  Ending a relationship is painful.  It is hard to imagine that you will find someone to give your heart to and trust again.  But there is a certain relief that freedom to control your life and emotions and your own happiness will give you.

The most important take away from a lost relationship is that you can and you will learn to love and trust again.  You deserve love and someone, somewhere believes you are amazing and can’t wait to meet you.  Letting your guard down and being vulnerable will take time and effort but it all begins with YOU!!